feels guilty to feel happy(c)

I'm in love

I'm just crazy about

I don't know what is better

Scene, I love you

regarder par la fenetre.

I can't live with myself so stay with me tonight(c)

I'm not dreaming. at all.

when I was walking home, I didn't know what to think of. for the first time in my stupid empty life.

it's scary,

I haven't time to notice what's happening around me. I'm so disappointed.

I hate myself. it's my problem -.-

I hate my legs, my arms, my body, my face, my hairs, my voice, my views, my character, my skills etc

fattystupidweak

just want to lock the door and stay alone.

stupid wish, huh?

(too many word 'stupid', hah)

I don't know what to do.

ah, non.

I want to cut something in my body to see my blood on the floor.

I'm scared. but it's no matter, right?)

seems like a delirium of mad.

but really, I;m just tired,

weakdishonestdespairing

'we all have our horrors and our demons to fight,

but how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?

they crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers on my throat.

is this what I get for the choices that I made?'(c)

grey grey sky

I want to cry. I don't exactly know why.
God, if You hear me, please, let me be myself

for reasons unknown

this is the first calm day of autumn. without hastes, quarrels, noises, but with  headache and heartache.

and with snow.

i love autumn, but i have not any time to enjoy it. it's such an uneasy period in my life. i'm so tired, i just want to leave this place and these people.

it'm so stupid and weak..

but there is snow outdoors, so i look forward for winter. maybe, it'll be better for my heart.

hey. I'm here now.

well, let's start writing.

about my past.

my future.

my thoughts.

about people surrounding me.

about place where I live.

about who I am.

about my life.